Sanjay Leela Bhansali

We see these famous people, rich people, actors, directors of Bollywood, coming in big cars,dressed to kill and think how rich they are, How their life is so cool as if  they don’t have or never had any money problem. But that’s not always true. I recently read an article on Sanjay Leela Bansali director of famous movies like Khamoshi, Devdaas, Guzaarish, Saawariya and Ram Leela and realized that life has not been easy for him. Excerpts from the article are  Salman is a fakir, who lives a simple life: Sanjay Leela Bhansali given below.

How did you think of becoming a filmmaker?
My grandfather was a rich man who stayed in a bungalow in Walkeshwar, but by 25, he went bankrupt and we had to move into a 200 sq ft place where, for a bathroom, you had to wait in a line for two hours. My father produced films in the 50s, but they were films like Jaazi Lootera that I have never seen. I was five when he took me with him to a studio, where a cabaret was being pictured. I was wondering why this girl was wearing so little clothes, was eating an apple and was jumping on a man with equally little clothes and then they kept throwing this apple at each other as it was not reaching the correct point. I was fascinated. I would wait for hours to listen to Vividh Bharati and would look at the small mirror and dance to Shammi Kapoor songs. I had to go through the red light area to go to school, as we lived two lanes from there. That one lane had six theatres, so life was fascinating. Then one day, a makeup trunk came with all kinds of wigs and costumes and that was the Pandora’s box for me. I decided to be a director. Even though I was a brilliant student, going to college were the worst years of my life, as I was going there only to complete my graduation. I joined the film institute in the editing course and that is where I thought I would blossom. I lost my father while I was at the institute and did not know where to start till Vidhu Vinod Chopra came there and hired me to shoot a song in Parinda. I then landed up assisting Vinod for seven years.

Let’s talk about your father?
All through my childhood, I was told that films did not make money and that it was a world not meant to be in. There were a lot of people we had to take money from and a lot of people we needed to pay money to. I remember my grandmother would take me walking from Bhuleshwar to Colaba to collect 10,000 from a producer we had lent money to, in the past. That man would make us wait for hours and all through walking back, she would keep telling me how not to be in films. And yet my father took me 18 times to see Mughal-e-Azam.He introduced me to all kinds of music ranging from Bade Ghulam Ali Khan sahab’s to Dada Kondke’s. So I was completely confused as a child. We would be put into a good school, but would need to borrow money from our relatives to pay the fees. They would procrastinate giving it to us. The fact that they would come and ask for the money back would make me not come out of the house. I started feeling isolated. I relied only on music for anchorage and I would go into my imaginary world. My father had a love for life and lived it king-size even though we could not afford it. So I went to the other extreme of complete deprivation and simplicity to save for the times to come. I loved him immensely, but could not express it. Today, I regret that. I wish he was alive today. I get my angst, aesthetics and suffering from him. I feel the presence of the man as I am too average a person to have made the films I have. I still go to our old house, playing old music in my car to experience him. I am fulfilling what he dreamt.

Are you insecure?
Terribly. I am insecure about the fact that if my film does not do well, I will not be loved and there will be nobody to listen to or talk to. So I work very hard for people to appreciate my work. I saw my father and so many great stars, including RD Burman, go through that. I wait for that one call to come after the trailer that says people have liked it. Saawariya did not do well and I can never forget that Diwali sitting alone in the house. There were crackers bursting all around and there were newspapers slamming me and nobody at home, except my mother and me in our own rooms. I cried immensely. That wanting to be loved comes from my childhood and is a part of all my characters. Be it Salman in Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam or Shah Rukh in Devdas or Hrithik in Guzaarish or Ranbir in Saawariya. It is actually me seeking love. It is a residue of the emotions in my childhood, of me being the ugliest cousin, of seeing the treatment meted out to my family for basic survival.

What makes you possessive?
I have anger and angst towards life. To get that one meal or that school fee for the month, to get that ability to get what I want and cling on to it, is my state of mind. It comes from there that I won’t let anybody take away what I have created. So I am possessive only about what I create as it is impossible to do that, given the circumstances I grew up in. My cinema is very personal. I remember my grandmother taking out her last silverware and taking it to Zaveri Bazaar to sell it. I would see that she would strangely go down, avoiding talking to me. That became Helen selling the piano in Khamoshi. My father loved his drinks. I made Devdas as a tribute to the half bottle my father last drank from, saved by my mother. And then when my grandmother came back from Zaveri Bazaar, she bought me a plastic pigeon from the money she had got. And that became Magic (Hrithik’s pigeon) in Guzaarish. I was very attached to her. She had a box of coins and worked till she died. Every morning she would empty the jar and count the coins. That is the scene in Guzaarish. My childhood sounds and images are what is captured in my films.

 Related articles :

• Amitabh Bachchan – from bankruptcy to crorepati
• Hritik Roshan on Money and his other struggles

After reading the article my respect for Sanjay Leela Bansali went up many notches. So much struggle and I hope and pray that his movie Ram Leela becomes a success.